Dear Future Wife,
How gently the heart smiles
when I call you my future wife.
Until I know your real name,
I will call you Sita… Sita Mahalakshmi
a name borrowed from a Sitaramam,
yet it feels as if it has always been yours.
We have not met,
yet you arrive in my thoughts
like a quiet evening breeze
unseen, but deeply felt.
Somewhere, in ways we cannot name,
perhaps you are thinking of me too…
as if the universe has already
begun its soft introduction.
I do not know
whether it will take days,
months,
or even years
but time feels lighter
when it is walking toward you.
The wait does weigh on me,
yet it becomes beautiful
when I remember
it ends with you.
And when that moment finds us,
I hope it feels simple
no noise, no doubt
just a still certainty.
A gaze that lingers,
as if I am looking
at everything I have ever prayed for…
and somehow, you understand it all.
I should tell you
I am not one thing.
I’m the happiest, most depressed, mature,
immature, angriest, talkative, rude, romantic person you’ll ever meet!!
I may speak too much at times,
and sometimes without care,
yet I try to be gentle with feelings.
Around you,
I may seem a little foolish
not because I am,
but because love allows softness.
If my small foolishness
can place a smile on your face,
I will carry it without hesitation.
If your heart has ever chosen
the wrong person to love,
do not carry regret.
It only means
you know how to love deeply.
And if that depth once reached
the wrong place,
imagine its quiet power
when it finally reaches home (me).
And if ever you have felt
that you are difficult to love
because of the wrong people
please, let that thought rest.
You are not difficult;
you are simply deep,
you just haven’t met someone mature
enough to handle your depth
that’s me.
Tonight, I write to you
I have never seen,
yet somehow know
hoping that one day
these words will find you,
and feel like something
you were always meant to hear.
Until then,
I will carry you quietly
in all my unwritten moments.
With love,
Your future husband,
Ram
(for my Sita Mahalakshmi)